Sunday, August 24, 2008

Hot Doug's! !!! !! !!!!! !

So some of you dudes have to know this place. I imagine you've even been there. But if you haven't you must stop what you are doing and make plans to get there soon. It may be the single best place on earth. 

Now some of my buddies are hot dog snobs and they discount the greatness that Hot Doug's is by dismissing it as "snooty" or just plain "gay."  Saying "it's not a hot dog, it doesn't count."  Well they are retards. Like it says on the sign this is The Sausage Superstore.  Not only does Doug have a straight up dog (both chili and Chicago style) he has a plethora of delicious encased meats. But that my friends is not why you go to Hot Doug's.  This shit right here is:

Now this magical list changes weekly which drives me nuts being all the way down in Texas because I can only take advantage of this once a year.  But this July while traveling to Chicago for Flatstock and the Pitchfork Festival I made it a point to get there. Here's the booty, first in delicious words then even more delicious pics:

The Game of the Week
Bacon and Cheddar Elk Sausage with Guinness Stout Mustard, Bacon Lardons and Tintern Chive & Shallot Cheese

The Rich Harden (Today's Celebrity Sausage)
Bell Pepper and Mozzarella Chicken Sausage with Pizza Sauce, Sautéed Peppers & Onions and Fresh Mozzarella Cheese

Other Specials
The Atomic Bomb: Spicy Pork Sausage with Chipotle-Honey Mustard and Cranberry-Chipotle Cheddar Cheese

Jalapeño-Cheddar Pork Sausage with Jalapeño Mayonnaise and Chihuahua Cheese

Über Garlic Pork Sausage with Roasted Garlic Dijonnaise and Widmer Brick Cheese


The line up. It starts at 10:30 and is like this until close. We stood in line for just over an hour. Totally worth it.

Bacon Cheddar Elk with Bacon Lardons (!!!) and the Atomic Bomb. Fucking Awesome.

the Jalapeno-Cheddar and the Pizza one.

The Uber Garlic and a straight up grilled beef with lots of mustard.

My buddies Helms and Bdix with the Duck Fat goodness and whole sheebang.

And just to balance it out breakfast the next morning.

Make yer travel plans fellas it's like the sausage Mecca. For real.

Oh P.S. Always check the site first. Doug likes to close down whenever something important comes up and if he's not taking the order from you no one is. Even though I planned my trip to allow for maximum Hot Doug's I missed a day because he shut down three days for Don Knott's birthday...

Thursday, August 21, 2008

A Day Devoted to Dogs

The goods. Vienna Beef motherfuckers.

A couple of bros that know a thing or two about fucking hot dogs. Recognize.

A lot of happy Hot Dog eating faces right here.

Few can strong arm a dog like this Superbeast.

Makin' sweet love to a dog, Cuban style.

LMFH. Princess of Dog Day Afternoon.

Hot Dogs. God love 'em. There's nothing quite like snapping the natural casing of an all-beef while anticipating a taste bud celebration. If you side with the great Chicago hot dog engineers of yore, it's the sum of the parts that makes a real American loving man salivate uncontrollably. You need the neon nitro green relish, the pickle spears, the sliced tomato, the celery salt, and the Plochman's yellow mustard. You better be rolling strong with the Plochman's.

Here at Carmichael Lynch we do not hesitate to take things to the extreme. We ride the razor's edge. We dangle our balls precariously over the lunatic fringe. We go for the gold, even if we have to bend a lead pipe over the competition's knee cap. When we decided to enjoy another day eating hot dogs with our buddies, we did it to the fucking max. The way God intended.

We ordered the goods from the source. We steamed buns. We offered grilled and boiled dogs. Then we high-fived and slapped each other's backsides. I challenge anyone to find a better way to stuff your face for lunch.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Hearts, Necks and a Bed of Concrete.

This is Hans and buddy Troy. Troy and I traveled to Qinhuangdao on the east coast of China to see Ivory Coast tear up Nigeria. As it turned out, Nigeria scored two real nice goals and won 2-0 (pronounced 2, nil if you call it football, which I don't).

Buddy Troy and I were lied to by our bastard friend Andy about the trains going back to Beijing so we were forced to sleep in the park for the night. When we met Hans, we told him of our plans and he was more willing to drive us to the best German restaurant in all of Qinhuangdao. Yes, we were both very confused by his proclamation.

The place was called The Giant Brown Horned Deer or some amazing translation. The women all wore these "pilgram"-type dresses and the place was decked out in animal heads and flags. If I would have been sober, I would have taken a lot more pictures.

We were seated and Hans gave me his email address, he had to go home to his wife. You don't order your food at The Giant Brown Horned Deer, they just bring you meat until you've had enough and then you are free to try the wilted salad bar and have some bread pudding.

Here's dude slicing some meat off of a stick. This was some sort of neck. I pretended it was elk neck and buddy Troy assumed it was from a goose.

We even got corn! Its consistency was somewhere between carpet and wood. And it tasted like carpetwood.

This is buddy Troy with his plate full of necks, hearts, blood sausage, grilled banana, carpetwood corn and other meats whose orgin was unknown. Oh yeah and the beer was shit too. Thankfully, at the soccer match beers were less than a dollar and you could buy 56 of them at a time, if you wished.

By the end of our meal, I started smoking.

I am about to write an email to buddy Hans cursing his family and his palette.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Texas Tonys!

Hey Buddies,

Geoff here. I'm new and got pointed this way by seeing Steve Tenebrini's post about The Wienery over on the poster dork site he and I hang out on. ( You Twin Cities dudes tell Pat to post his menu so I can see what al I'm missing.

So in the spirit of this site here's some pics of one of our recent buddy get togethers at my pad where we made Texas Tonys. These delicious heart cloggers are good ol' dogs split, stuffed with white american cheese, wrapped with bacon the deep fried. Then you top those suckers off with chili, relish, onions, cheddar jack cheese and horseradish slaw. We had a line up waiting for the fryer to keep up. Hot dang!

Next up my pics from our trip to Hot Doug's The Sausage Superstore and Encased Meats Emporium!

Friday, August 1, 2008

Hot Damn, 'Dem is Good Dogs!

Just a sampling of the kind of high quality dogs available. Hungry? I sure was.

This is the mural painted on the side of the building alerting these buddies of the deliciousness that awaits.

Just a few delicious dogs ready to be destroyed.

The Wienery.

Today for lunch, good buddy Steve "Squad 19" Tenebrini joined the Superbeast for a little afternoon jaunt to The Wienery. We rode the motorcycles like a couple of Wild Ones, I was on the Harley and he was on the Triumph.

While playing Ponch and John was fun, the real goal of our mission was to attack some serious Vienna all-beef wieners. We arrived at the Wienery shortly before 1 pm and waited in line for approximately a half hour. It was well worth it.

This beast threw down a Maxwell Street, and world the famous Drive-Through. Steve challenged his own intestinal fortitude by devouring a Hairy Brain and a Chicago dog.

As one dog fan to another, let me just say that these dog's are fucking savory. So savory in fact that we contemplated eating a few more. The cool thing about The Wienery is that everything is made to order. Fresh, delicious flavors explode all over your taste buds before sliding down to their infernal resting place deep within your belly.