Monday, August 18, 2008

Hearts, Necks and a Bed of Concrete.

This is Hans and buddy Troy. Troy and I traveled to Qinhuangdao on the east coast of China to see Ivory Coast tear up Nigeria. As it turned out, Nigeria scored two real nice goals and won 2-0 (pronounced 2, nil if you call it football, which I don't).

Buddy Troy and I were lied to by our bastard friend Andy about the trains going back to Beijing so we were forced to sleep in the park for the night. When we met Hans, we told him of our plans and he was more willing to drive us to the best German restaurant in all of Qinhuangdao. Yes, we were both very confused by his proclamation.

The place was called The Giant Brown Horned Deer or some amazing translation. The women all wore these "pilgram"-type dresses and the place was decked out in animal heads and flags. If I would have been sober, I would have taken a lot more pictures.

We were seated and Hans gave me his email address, he had to go home to his wife. You don't order your food at The Giant Brown Horned Deer, they just bring you meat until you've had enough and then you are free to try the wilted salad bar and have some bread pudding.

Here's dude slicing some meat off of a stick. This was some sort of neck. I pretended it was elk neck and buddy Troy assumed it was from a goose.

We even got corn! Its consistency was somewhere between carpet and wood. And it tasted like carpetwood.

This is buddy Troy with his plate full of necks, hearts, blood sausage, grilled banana, carpetwood corn and other meats whose orgin was unknown. Oh yeah and the beer was shit too. Thankfully, at the soccer match beers were less than a dollar and you could buy 56 of them at a time, if you wished.

By the end of our meal, I started smoking.

I am about to write an email to buddy Hans cursing his family and his palette.


Casey Brewer said...

Hans doesn't look German.

R. Falch said...

He's Mongolian.

He lives in Germany.