Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Road Dogs

Last week I hit six different states in as many days, stayed up 23 hours through part of the travels, schooled some whisky drinking Kentucky clowns on what happens to their barrels after they are spent, went to a pro basketball game, crashed a flight simulator (twice) and ate a few dogs. It was a pretty alright trip.

First up Memphis. Went to the Grizzlies game. Wasn't too stoked about it since they blow but they played Portland and Greg Oden got a little playing time so I could see if he really was as good as hyped when he went #1 in the draft a couple back. He was alright. Surprisingly Memphis was crushing Portland behind OJ Mayo's hot hand. A nice showing for that kid. Of course they choked and lost by a point in the last 4 seconds. Aside from the skank cheerleaders the real highlight was watching the game from the FedEx suite. That means free beer and crap. Standard catered fare, cheese plates, sausage, wings, etc. But much to my delight they had a hot dog bar. Fuckin A. So I get to kick back in leather seats, swig beers brought to me by the staff and chow on a dag. The only losers here were the Grizzlies fans. Man their team sucks. Ended up at Rendezvouz for some dry rub ribs and pork shoulder after the match. Now I know Memphis likes to claim to be BBQ kings but that shit hain't got nuthin' on Smitty's. One day Jake will talk about that for yinz.

Next stop Louisville. Didn't actually get any dogs here but I did crash another simulator. Those things are easy to take of and fly but landing is a bitch. The reason I feel the need to add Louisville to the story goes back to a documentary I have called Sandwiches You Will Like I highly recommend this flick and another Sebak did called A Hot Dog Program This quality viewing has made me want to plan vacations just to go eat the grub. One sammich in particular is the Hot Brown. Unfortunate name yes but delicious all the same. It happened that my stay in Lville was at the historic Brown Hotel The Hot Brown is a Kentucky standard made at a few places but as luck would have it I was sleepin upstairs from the joint that invented it. Open face turkey with mornay sauce, parmesan and bacon. It was all I had hoped. Prelimed that action with some sausage/apple/bean soup and backed all that up with some Derby Pie. The only thing I fucked up was ordering sweet tea instead of a mint julep.

Next in line Northcutt and I head off to Oklahoma City to drive a 26 ft Uhaul full of antique furniture back to Austin (there will be more to tell about this at a later date dear readers) At the Austin aeroport we decided it was time to get right. Three beers each and some really shitty brisket queso from Earl Campbell's bar and we are on the plane to Dallas.

Stewardess: Would you like something to drink?
Me: 4 vodkas please.
S: You realize this is a 30 min. flight?
Me: Are you saying I need to order my second round now?
S: Oh Pumpkin there isn't going to be a second round.

Beautiful flight up and down just like the vodkas. Northcutt and I kill a little time in the Dallas aeroport bar with buddy Sam Adams then back on the plane to OKC.

Steward: Would you like something to drink?
Me: 4 vodkas please.
S: You realize this is a 30 min. flight?

The dude didn't seem as cool as the chick on the previous flight so I just took the vodkas and Northcutt and I commenced to imbibing. My sweet old lady picked us up and took us straight to Coit's for some dogs. See how I brought it back around?

We order up some draft root beers, four chilis and two cornys. So good we went back for two more chilis.

Last but not least we hit Johnnie's also in OKC. This here is the #13. Split, grilled red hot with chili and cheese that is closest to Velveeta. Awesome.


Casey Brewer said...

Geoff, you're a regular fucking globe trotter.

I like the looks of that Hot Brown. Anything served up in a flaming hot ramekin is probably pretty amazing.

Francis said...

After trying that flight simulator, you could also try out some of the sports simulators offered at websites such as which would definitely hone your skills for the actual sport.