Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Demon Dogs and Gay Witch Abortion.

Beers. Buddies. Hot Dogs. Art. Metal.

Last Saturday all the stars aligned and the poo poo platter of bona fide gastrointestinal brutality occurred under the guise of Art-A-Whirl, the classic Northeast Minneapolis art crawl. I started the day at noon with a bloody mary and a beer back at Grumpy's Northeast, my favorite local haunt. Here's some of the photographic evidence:

OK buddies, here's a little primer. The Demon Dog is a creation made by Joe and Andrea Hoelzel at Creature Comfort Catering (highly recommended, look 'em up).

It's a big, all-beef frank slit down the center and filled with molten hot american cheese and diced jalapeno pepper. The dog is then tied together with butcher string and grilled to perfection over hot coals.

That's what a Demon looks like before loading it up with the goodies.

Schwenny rolled with the standard Brat. Seemingly delicious, and always an admirable choice. It was not however, a Demon Dog.

That's the beast from the bowels of hell, fully dressed and ready to destroy a weaker man's innards. If I were to characterize this dog like it was a living human interacting with me, I would politely suggest that he had just met his fucking maker.

Creature Comforts bottles a couple of special sauces, one of which is like an asian chili garlic with a whole lotta twang. The other was a carrot relish that cools things down a bit. I went with both, some old fashioned relish, a little kraut, and raw white onions. The flavors seep into the split belly like Han stuffing Luke into the Ton-Ton.

Needless to say, it was a taste sensation and a perfect foundation for a day of drinking and riding bikes to look at art.

I'm one handsome son of a bitch when I'm touching dicks with the dark side. In this case, a delicious Demon Dog.

Here's Gay Witch Abortion buffing some skin off my face. It was a dizzying display of sheer and unbridled metal freak-out goodness, that's for sure.

Surly Brewery set up shop as well, pouring some of Minnesota's finest.

Schwenny went back for round two, this time he got it right with a DEMON DOG!!!!

Here's the butt-end of one dog sure to inspire a tingle in your dingle. Yeah boners!

Pounding dogs like mason's building brick villages of old isn't just a man's game. Here's buddy Marisa showing her technique.

That's Jake's good buddy Al, visiting in town on probably the best weekend of the Spring thus far. We all finished the night at Flameburger. Al tried to leave town on a big dick note when he ordered the Mega Burger. Ingredients: one full pound of grade A American chuck, four slices of American cheese, four strips of thick cut bacon, all dragged through the garden.

He failed.

Jake and I gave the little buddy some help with a couple of monster bites. We couldn't let him leave town without his self respect intact.

Damn, I'm going to miss this town. Please forward on suggestions of where I can reproduce these good times in Seattle. Thanks.


Anonymous said...

A lot of erotic imagery in this blog, Brew.

Jake Lancaster said...

Epic post. Epic day. Unepic me not eating a Demon Dog.

Anonymous said...

Thnaks Brew for documenting my failure. A younger Al would have dominated that Flame Burger with ease. The years of abuse have reduced me to what you saw. Honored to make the blog though.

Anonymous said...

That Al man looks like a handsome devil.

Jake Lancaster said...

It's hard not to look handsome with a two-pound Flameburger in your paws.

Not Dickless said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Not Dickless said...

When you get out there and get settled, drive up to Vancouver and find the Tomahawk Restaurant. Get yourself a Chief Skookum. Ask the Mayor, he knows. http://tinyurl.com/mutopz