Thursday, May 28, 2009

Serious Business

Super good buddy Chris has been hosting a Memorial Day party for 12 years now. It has always been a lot of fun, but in the past 5 or 6 years, the awesome factor has really been ramped up. We're talking live random jams, wicked deejays, random video projections, ever flowing kegs, and like a hundred or so really good folks. Buddies. Good ones. But the real feather in the cap is always the food. Dude loves to cook, so it's guaranteed he's gonna do something loony. Plus, everyone else brings side dishes, so it becomes a huge crazy feast of REALLY ridiculously good grub. Last year, I think he made like, 200 lbs of Adobo chicken.  This year, he told me he wanted to roast a pig. I thought he was just talking shit, but I could see that weird gleam in his eye. We've been friends for almost 20 years, so I knew he wasn't joking around. Sure enough, a few weeks before Memorial Day, he started talking again. It seemed to be a forgone conclusion, so I figured I had better break out the camera. 
Friday, the cooker showed up. In the day, it looked alright, sort of harmless. At night, it was like some lost prop from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The second one, with Dennis Hopper. I love that movie. Anyway, it had a smoker pit on one side, and a rotisserie on the other, large
enough for a human being to be roasted on it. It was kind of gnarly. 

 On Saturday, I went over there around 7:30 pm, and they were starting to dress it up, and get it ready to go on the fire, which was a MAJOR task. Luckily, there were like, 10 dudes there to make it happen. It had to be rigged up with all these rods for the spit, which is pretty tough when you consider you're ramming blunt rods through a pig's body. 

After that, the pig got stuffed with like, a whole rosemary bush, and a year's harvest of carrots and onions and mushrooms. Tons of seasoning and oil, too. Oh. And two 10 lb loins. That's right. Pig stuffed pig. It's like a some sort of riddle.

I missed them hoist the dude onto the spit, because I had to leave to for a bit, but when I got back at midnight, I signed on for a surreal, 3 dude all-nighter, cooking pig & drinking beer. Serious buddy time. There were only 3 things that needed to be talked about. How hot the fire was staying, how hot the pig was cooking, and how cold the beer was tasting. I should mention, if you ever plan to do this, get one of those radar thermometers. You pretty much can't do this without one, because you'll flip your shit after about the third hour when the thing starts to break up and split, and by that time you've already had like, a sixer, so you'll probably panic, thinking it's all going to hell. But really, if you've got one of these, you can lay back, radar gun in one hand, cold one in the other, and just play laser tag with the thing.

By 8:30 the nest morning, we were delirious, but it's cool. I smelled like fire, so when I went home to crash, the aroma gave me good power nap dreams. It was awesome, and when I woke back up a few hours later and finished the coffee my sweet lady had made me, I was ready to get back and see what I missed. Oh, and to set up the DJ area. Here's a pic of Buddy Chris layin' on some "mop water". I have no idea what was in that concoction, but it sizzled nicely. 

Buddy Geoff was running late, with buddy Daniel, but he got there just in time, 15 hours after the pig first felt the flames, to witness the gathering of the meat. First off, it was heavy as the universe, so when we tried to take it off the rotisserie, there was a lot of dudes straining, but we couldn't drop all of our hard work! After a major workout, our captive audience sighed relief as we got it to the table. Then the master chef Chris got in there, and proceeded to get busy. Like a magician, he presto'd that pig into aluminum  trays of tender goodness. Oh lord, was it tender. Didn't quite taste like pig, didn't taste like chicken...just tasted like MEAT. Never have had anything like it. 
Look, here it is giving birth to two tasty tenderloins:

All the while, as buddy Daniel put it "50% of the best deejays in town are here", just hanging out and playing records. Y'know. Casual. There was some rain at one point, but no one cared, we just huddled under some tents that were set up, and kept going. 

The best part though, might have been the impromptu Slip' N' Slide "competition". That ruled. Everyone was already drenched anyway, and probably just as drunk, so why not?

After it dried out, we tapped the last keg, and got real nice in the backyard, letting the deejays take over.
Chris is a true champion. And while it might take a whole village to make it all happen the way it does, that dude is the chieftan of throwin' down.  


Geoff Peveto said...

Buddies of the world this was a real deal pig party. If you ever feel the urge to be in Austin over memorial day weekend be sure to let Jamie, Northcutt and me know. Chris knows how to throw a shin dig.

Jake Lancaster said...

I'll be there next year for sure. I know a few hog farmers so I could probably bring the pig with me. Just throw him in the back of the truck and head south. Now that's a party.

Casey Brewer said...

I wanna crawl in that pig and eat it from the inside out.

Anna Williams said...

Over in my part of the world, we refer to this as a 'Hog Roast' and it's mostly for weddings. The dudes charge £500, and bring a precooked pig (unstuffed) stick it on a spit for a few hours and then serve it. It tastes pretty good, but is nowhere near as amazing as what you guys seemed to have going on there. You guys rule. xxx