Wednesday, December 30, 2009

What's with all this Vampire shit?

I saw a t-shirt the other day, Team Jacob. Thought it was pretty funny since my buddy Jacob (geetar for Moonlight Towers and burgeoning author...) should actually have a team that favors him. So I went to buy one and what the fuck, they are all in girlie size. He's not particularly a lard ass but he's no lady boy either so we obviously had a fit issue.

My sweet old lady kindly pointed out I was a dipshit and that Team Jacob was from Twilight. A movie *slash* phenomenon about teeny bopper vampires made for prepubescent girls and fat aging nerds. I had heard of said flick but promptly ignored it as much as possible. All I really knew was there was some clown millimeters away from having a unibrow and some chick who was high as a kite all the time who may or may not be vampires. I did not know about this Team Jacob and shirts for his undersized minions.

I've since seen commercials for another teenage vampire show, probably on the CW or some shit, and a few episodes of True Blood that has possibly the worst acting this side of Dexter. Must be all the tits keeping losers tuned in because all this new interest in vampires isn't that interesting. Where was all the fervor when Catherine Denuve was sucking face and blood with Susan Sarandon and Bowie back in 1983? That there's some compelling undead shit.

You must be thinking what the French does this have to do with hot dogs? Well dear readers buddy KJ and I were looking for a new eatin hole recently and we came across a spot called Drakula. No shit Chet. DRAKULA. Sounds phony baloney eh? Well it's for real and It was weird and it was empty except for one table with real life Romanians that seemed a little like gangsters. Maybe it was authentic Romanian decor but it felt a lot like walking into a cafeteria at an old folks home um... with gangsters in the corner. It has about as much to do with Vampires as I expect Twilight does. It does have a lot to do with traditional Romanian eats however. One of those eats happens to be dry bean stew with sausage which has a pretty unappetizing name but it was damn tasty.

Moral of the story is more beans and sausage, less teenage vampires!

Monday, December 28, 2009

Double Down at the Triple Bill

I found these pics when I fucked up my iPhone and had to back it up before I swapped it for a new one. Kinda forgot about this culinary adventure courtesy of the Round Rock Express Concessions. Now don't get excited baseball dorks. I wasn't at the Dell Diamond for a game. No I was there for a different triple header. One that started with Willie Nelson, rolled into John Cougar and ended with me walking out on Bob Dylan.

Apologies to Dylan fans but if you open your set with a classic and halfway through it's finally discernable as Rainy Day Women #12 and 35 the day has come to stop wastin folk's time and money. That mumbly old coot needs to let us enjoy the records and put the kibosh on his blind faith followers promising "this tour is way better." It's not and it never will be again.

But I digress. This wasn't meant to be a musical review. No friend, this is an entry about the two dogs I ate while enjoying Willie and John. Now I won't say I enjoyed the dogs as much as the tunes of Willie and Johnny because they weren't what I'd call stellar but they weren't as bad as the lame ass beer served up in Round Rock.

First up something surely advertised with some clever "Texas sized" name, which I forget, meant to lure you into the false sense of "value"

Ladies and gents the fairly large corn dog and overpriced weak brews:

Not to be out done they offer up another "big as Texas" type thing with not one but two x-tra long dogs. No idea why chili and cheese wasn't an option but I doctored it up with jalapenos and relish to help ol' plain Jane.

There ya have it dog lovers. Keep on keepin' on.